


Soften

by soldierwitch



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, POV Clarke Griffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 01:35:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14582061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldierwitch/pseuds/soldierwitch
Summary: She stiffens when the church door yawns open but then the familiar thump of boots hitting a hard surface melts the tension in her frame. Clarke turns, not bothering to wipe her tears, and watches Bellamy walk up the aisle. His brows are furrowed, his eyes concerned. Tears continue to chase each other down her cheeks as she takes him in again. Moonlight lights him through the cracks in the church’s windows. Bellamy’s the best thing Clarke has seen since Madi. It’s almost too much to look at him, but she doesn’t want to look away.post-s5reunion!bellarke





	Soften

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all! So, once again I blaspheme, but like only a little bit. 
> 
> When you're needing comfort 'cause you've lost your love  
> Lay your head on the table, in hands of a stranger  
> If you're needing someone 'cause you've lost your love  
> Something stable, I hope I'll be able - [Softens](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuteq7FQ-VM) by Wet

In the six years that Clarke has called Eden home, she has never found herself before the altar in the Grounder church in the corner of Madi’s village. And yet tonight, after being rescued by her child and her partner. After reuniting with her friends after so many years, all she could think of doing upon returning home was stumbling through the church’s doors and falling to her knees.

The worn wood creaks beneath Clarke’s weight as she tips her head back taking in the stained glass windows before her. She knows not who to call upon or what to say, so she stares, emotion clouding her vision with tears. A sob cracks from behind her ribs, an echo of the overwhelming tides in her heart. Another trails after it, and Clarke lets the wave take over her, whispers thank you over and over as she falls forward, forehead pressed to the floor.

She stiffens when the church door yawns open but then the familiar thump of boots hitting a hard surface melts the tension in her frame. Clarke turns, not bothering to wipe her tears, and watches Bellamy walk up the aisle. His brows are furrowed, his eyes concerned. Tears continue to chase each other down her cheeks as she takes him in again. Moonlight lights him through the cracks in the church’s windows. Bellamy’s the best thing Clarke has seen since Madi. It’s almost too much to look at him, but she doesn’t want to look away.

“Clarke, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she says, looking up at him as he stands before her.

“But you’re crying,” Bellamy says, dropping to his knees.

“Yes.”

Silence falls between them.

Clarke cups his face with her hands. Her lip wobbles before she releases a wet chuckle and leans forward to rest her forehead against his. 

“You came back,” she says.

“Clarke--”

She shakes her head, quieting him. “No, Bellamy, let me…,” Clarke begins before trailing off, her hands making their descent over his shoulders, down his arms, to find their place in his hands. 

“I love you,” she whispers and then says it again, louder, firmer. “I had a church, but no god to pray to, so I spoke to you. I had no faith, but I had you. I had no belief, but I had you. And now you’re here.”

Clarke laughs again, a watery smile settles on her lips. “God, now you’re back, and I didn’t know what to do, so I came here. They say church is where the faithful go, and I’ve spent half a decade with one unspoken prayer.”

She kisses his forehead and then pulls back, so she can see his eyes. “Thank you for keeping me alive,” she says, her smile slipping as she watches grief flood Bellamy’s face.

“But I didn’t,” he says, his voice cracking on the words. “I left you.”

“No, Bell--”

“I did,” Bellamy insists, his hands clutching hers. “I left you, and you died. I mourned you, and you were here. I left you here by yourself.”

“You did what I asked.”

“Fuck what you asked,” Bellamy exclaims, letting go of her to smooth his hands past her cheeks and into her hair. “I loved you.”

He sobs, the sound broken instead of freeing like Clarke’s. “God, I loved you,” Bellamy repeats, tugging at Clarke’s hair before pressing his forehead to hers. “I lived by your memory. Replayed your words over and over again in my head. Weighed every decision by what I thought you would do or say. I had no god, but I found peace in the thought of you. I had faith because of you; I believed because of you; I survived because of _you_.”

There’s a tear in Clarke’s heart at the past tense in Bellamy’s words. She was a ghost to him. A wanted haunting. A cherished memory. For him, she is the resurrected spirit of a girl he once knew. She is not yet real to him, so she takes his hands and slips them beneath her shirt, placing them on her hips to remind Bellamy that this is not ashes to ashes, this is flesh to flesh, and she did not return to dust.

Gently, Clarke guides Bellamy to rest his head on her shoulder. “I don’t think you need forgiveness, but I will give that to you if you need it.”

When Bellamy shifts, his lips press against her neck. Clarke knows it’s an accident caused by their proximity, but still she bites back a whimper. Her head drops to his shoulder, willing the heat that sparks in her blood to dampen. She’d seen him with Echo. She knows, she knows, she _knows_ , and so she says, “I am happy you’re happy. Don’t let this taint it for you.” 

_Let this expand your happiness_ , Clarke thinks. _Let me make you happier_. The thought explodes through her, and she tells him she loves him again.

The dam breaks in Bellamy. She can feel it the moment his hands start shaking as he clings to her. His tears run down her neck.

“I love you, too,” he whispers, and then says it again louder but still muffled. “I love you so much, Clarke.”

The present tense rocks her forward as if she could somehow get closer than she already is to him and for the first time Clarke prays. 

_To the heavens above, and the ground below, let me keep him. Let us keep each other. For all the time I have left on this Earth, let us stay together._

“Amen,” Bellamy says.

“Blessed be,” Clarke returns.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated.


End file.
